Body Language

by Ian Murray

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1.
04:16
2.
03:29
3.
04:06
4.
03:54
5.
04:27
6.
03:42
7.
03:45
8.
04:32
9.
03:42
10.
04:14

credits

released May 26, 2017

Written, recorded, and produced by Ian Murray.

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Ian Murray Connecticut

22-year-old musician in progress.

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Track Name: Antidote
They don’t know that I love you.

What else could they take from me?
Carelessly, I never tried to take someone like you.
What else could they want from me?
Love and regret is all I find sticks to me,

not unlike poison.
But you’re no poison,
sweeter than poison.
Cure me through and through.

They don’t know that I love you.

What else could I learn from me?
Nothing I’ve taught isn’t right,
just caters to my choice of a hindsight.
There’s so much to learn from you.
There is no better view, even with me standing in the way.

I’m just like poison.
I have been poisoned.
Can you taste the poison
coursing through and through?

Relieve me of poison.
Be my new poison,
sweeter than poison.
Cure me through and through.
Track Name: Propaganda
Teach me to bleed like you,
purposefully, like hearts do on command.
Filter the red through anything instead of my own flesh.

I will be anything else

just to feel what’s underneath the reality
I keep tucked in my albino lies.
I’ll dream enough to overwrite mine.

I will be anything else but me.
A fantasy.
All I’ve got is all I’m not.

Teach me to bleed like you.
Track Name: B-Sides
Climb up my rib cage.
There’s a surprise for you.
I’ve got a heart for you, if it’s still there.
I don’t see much use in me keeping it
if only to bleed it dry.
They call that “love”, babe,
but if it’s love, I’m afraid,
‘cause for the first time,

I’m running with my arms open,
hoping my legs decide to keep up.
Running with my arms open,
hoping my flesh and blood will be enough.
Running with my arms open,
hoping you’ll rush in.

The strawberry in your cheek,
the rose petals in your speech,
Adam and his apple tree.
All it took was one bite,
and I got heaven on a beach.
You’re a shot in the light.
I don’t know what I’m feeling, or if it’s right,
but I know

that I’m running with my arms open,
hoping my legs decide to keep up.
Running with my arms open,
hoping my flesh and blood will be enough.
Running with my arms open,
hoping you’ll rush in.

Stay with me, all of me.
Won’t you stay with me?

Running with my arms open,
hoping my legs decide to keep up.
Running with my arms open,
hoping my flesh and blood will be enough.
Running with my arms open,
hoping you’ll rush in.
Track Name: Musk
I just want your love, baby.
I’ll even pour me empty.
I’m that lost for your love, baby,
to let you pull the strings
until I can’t recognize when my actions are mine.
And when my time comes,
I won’t know what I'm made of.

I am what I’m missing
and I am what I fight.
Vanilla competition.
Take me off the knife.

Build me up across that borderline.
I’ve been stuck between the black and white.
No half reigns on without the other.
Build me up ‘til I am whole and mine.

Identify me.
Hold your color-coded territory up.
Which half do you want, baby?
Which half of me is better?
I’m too light for the night,
too dark for the daytime.
Don’t know what I’m made of.

I cannot describe me.
My tongue is tied down when English feels too heavy.
I’ve got no way to tell you why I am what I’m missing
and I am what I fight.
Vanilla competition.
Take me off the knife.

Build me up across that borderline.
I’ve been stuck between the black and white.
No half reigns on without the other.
Build me up ‘til I am whole and mine.
Track Name: D.I.Y.
Half of me floated on,
and I thought that gravity wouldn't mind,
so I filled me up 'til empty
just like a junkie, with no pulse to find.
Never would have got this far
if I hadn’t pissed on my inherent fire.
But never thought that I'd be starved
sopping up spit from God’s trough.
Guess living in heaven is lonely.

You say “Pray our trees bear fruit
from neighbors’ seeds.
I will feed you when they're ripe
and serve your future on a silver platter.
Try not to taste the shine.”

I can get my way, but I don't know which way is mine.

I could be who I want,
but I'm too caught up in all this gendering
to build a pretty body.
Either way, my reflection doesn’t match the sting needed.
Maybe a seedy little place to bed me in,
some dirt under my nails,
a law draconian to do me well,
or a little bit of natural flaw meant to better me
will make this heaven less lonely.

“Pray our trees bear fruit
from neighbors’ seeds in the spring,
or otherwise, when I serve your future on a silver platter,
all you’ll taste is shine.”

I can get my way, but I don’t know which way is mine.

Which way to go?
My heart’s not set in stone.
I had to let it go long before it claimed me.
Would I know better, though, with a heart set in stone?
I let it go long before it claimed me.

Lucy, was it temptation or your pride?
Come on now, Lucy, Jekyll can live on without his Hyde.
Don’t worry, Lucy, I get it.
What good is a heaven
if all that you're getting is plain old July?

Which way to go?
My heart’s not set in stone.
I had to let it go long before it claimed me.
Would I know better, though, with a heart set in stone?
I let it go long before it claimed me.

I can get my way, but I don't know which way is mine.
Track Name: 3 A.M.
The moon, she’s rising.
The moon, she’s crowned
the queen of everything we can’t hold down.

Kanagawa, I’ll be waiting.
Kanagawa, I’ll be here.
The wave will take us for a ride.
It will not swallow us.
Leave your personal Armageddon to the flood.

Give up all of your reign.

Kanagawa, I’ll be waiting.
Kanagawa, I’ll be here.
I may mistake her for a liar sometimes,
but I’m still trying
to prove the life that we shared
will be spared from the water.
Hope my memory survives

all of her reign.

All this pushing and pulling,
promiscuity and holiness.
I’m not her one and only
but she knows me so well.
She let me sleep inside her craters.
I know there is nothing like her.
There’s no other lover that can love the tides
as endlessly as she.

Kanagawa, I’ll be waiting.
Kanagawa, I’ll be here.
Track Name: She
What gets that blood rushing?
Things God will never mention.
The feminine, holy.
Our own matrimony.
‘Til death do we sin.

Oh, you’ll never let me go.
You won’t respect me.
No one ever treats me so,
but a treat would be one more kiss.

I’ll raise my flag, white and tame.
I’ll be happy enslaved.
Come rattle my chain
and tell me I love you.

We’ll renew the old vows,
original know-how.
But all talk is filler.
Filament snipper,
seek to cut through that proud little string
that holds me back from what we can be.

I’ll raise my flag, white and tame.
I’ll be happy enslaved.
Come rattle my chain
and tell me I love you,

‘cause my diamond’s so pretty.

Come embody me.
Suburbia bled outside of its picket lines,
into my head.
Maybe it’s too close for comfort,
veins full of Joneses and other lovers.
Show me where God cannot reach me,
like in the palm of your hand.
Say that I cannot go on without you.

I’ll raise my flag, white and tame.
I’ll be happy enslaved.
Come rattle my chain
and tell me I love you.

Say that I cannot go on without you.
Track Name: Hangnail
Caught in the flow, anemic red.
Cocaine-white glow.
Lucy’s on his best behavior
and God’s pawing at my door.
Nails in the sheets.
Bells on the floor.

It should be easier than this.
Letting go is almost easier than this oppressive mold,
how we’re just boys pointing their worst up at the moon,
how we’re just girls hanging reflections by a noose,
how we’re just in-betweens
stuck in-between the right to swoon and the fight we’ll lose.

I thought it’d be more like evergreen,
enduring winter’s kiss.
But now I’ve no more will than a willow.
Watch my limbs just sway
until the summer knocks me down.

In the sun, we feel the heat
but not the light it brings.
We had our chance to see it,
when we brought God into our bed,
slept like death was heaven-sent.
And then the static coveted that blessed organ.
All it does is bleed,
but does it bleed for me?

No hell or high water.
I would rather have nothing.
No hell or high tides.
I would rather have nothing at all.
Track Name: Cameo
Won’t you lie with me?
Won’t you lie with me, just under the stars?
They’ll never know who we are.
Orion’s eye is blinded by you lying at my side.

I’d love to,
I would love to,
I’d love to love you.

Won’t you lie with me,
all limbs and tangled wires?

I’d love you,
I would love you,
I’d love you if I could.
Track Name: Gold
Heaven only comes in drops.
Aren’t you thirsty by now?
I’m taking out the clock, holding her hands in mine,
our fingers tied.
Her fingers are crossed I won’t forget her,
but I can never wed her.
I’m flirting with my own reflection.
He’s old enough to know
that it’s not just what you’re made of
and it’s not just what you own.

Hallelujah for that.

Does gold itself feel like gold?
Lovely gold, do you feel golden enough?

You say love is all you needed,
but I know better kinds of demons.
You say love is all you needed,
but I needed more.

Heaven only comes in drops.
Aren’t you thirsty for it?